“Dying” Well

And what we might learn from it

Buddhism places a lot of importance on “Dying Well.” Because ones state of mind is thought to influence ones future rebirth.

A calm, clear, and virtuous state of mind is said to lead to a favorable rebirth, while a distressed, confused, or negative state of mind results in a less favorable one.

But for the rest of this article, I won’t talk about dying and death (in the normal senses of the words). For two reasons.

Firstly, you, like many people, might consider death a distressing subject. And I wouldn’t want to distress you.

Secondly, there is much we can learn from “things like death”, without broaching death itself. That is what I’d like to talk about.

Things like Death

What do I mean by “things like death”?

To me, the essence of death is loss.

We lose our bodies, and many other things associated with it, like the people we know, the places we live, and the things we own.

And, so, by “things like death,” I mean things that involve loss.

For example,

• Losing a job
• Losing money when an investment fails
• Losing the company of good friends, when one has to go home at the end of a party.
• Losing the leisure, one enjoys on a Sunday, when it is time for work on Monday.
• Losing part of ones mobility, when one sprains ones back.

I will refer to these “things like death” as examples of “death” and “dying” (in quotes).

Learnings

What might be learn from “dying”?

1. “Dying” involves sadness. This sadness springs from two sources: Nostalgia and Fear. For example, we feel nostalgia for that lazy Sunday, and fear for what might happen at work on Monday.
2. The level of sadness depends on how different the things either side of “death” are. For example, if your previous job was amazing, and your new job is abysmal, then you are going to be relatively sad, compared to a situation where your new job is about as enjoyable as your old one.
3. If we find ways of “dissolving” the difference either side of “death,” then the less sad we will be.
4. Both Fear and Nostalgia are to some extent imaginary. The “real” part of “death” don’t really causes us suffering.
5. One way to “dissolve” the difference either side of “death” is to cultivate a sense of equanimity, or even-mindedness. Not giving too much to either side.
6. Another way to “dissolve” the difference is to understand the impermanence of all things. Nothing stays the same forever. Even “death” will “die”.
7. Finally, “Dying” and “death” teach us gratitude, compassion and the importance of appreciating the present.

The next time you are faced with “death,” you could examine and explore if my “learnings” above sound reasonable. And if there is anything that you might add or subtract.

In the meantime, the “writing of this article” is about to “die.”

And I’m going to try and find what I could learn from that example…

DALL.E